Five reasons your phone is about to blow up!

Hey, are you waiting on that call? Don’t worry, even though it’s been a few weeks and you haven’t chased them up, here are five reasons you’re 100% getting that interview.

Your CV is SUPPORTIVE!

Yes, it’s true that some candidates request informal interviews, but with an ambassador as powerful as your CV who needs to look that keen? Yeah, it would be nice to get a chance to learn more about the role. Some of these eager beavers probably even tailor their CVs after their informal interviews to highlight specific details, but you don’t need that stress, not with your CV!

Your CV is HISTORIC!

Damn straight! Your CV has served you well in the past. It got you into Pret and Pizza Express, right? And they were happy with your one-size-fits-all CV approach. I mean, it’s got all the stuff they need to know right? You went to school? Check! Had some jobs? Check! Good in a team? Check! Responsible and hardworking? Check! What else do these keyboard jockeys need to know? You can tell them anything specific and relevant at the interview! Why waste time mentioning stuff like your recent vocational training in the field, or your unrivalled experience in the given industry?  Sure, it would be nice adding that, but that means having to edit the damn thing and who needs that pressure?

Your CV is INTENSE!

Your resume, that’s what they call them in the US by the way, is a snapshot. You don’t want it to be some exercise in grammar and syntax. So, you didn’t want to spoil its authenticity by using anything as dull as a spell checker. In life, there’s only one take, and why waste that time going over old ground? Hey, does the recruiter even need to know you haven’t read it? Sure, there could be typos, grammar glitches and whatnot, but hey, don’t they say these CV types only spend 7 secs looking at each one? Well, they aren’t going to be looking for mistakes if that’s all the time they’ve got.   

Your CV is TIGHT!

Man, you got everything in there. From the time you used to patrol the neighbourhood in your plastic police pedal car, to that time you did half a shift at the service station, nothing is missing. You hear it all the time that HR types do nothing but look at CVs. Well, why wouldn’t they want to see everything I mean it’s not boring, you don’t go into any dull details or specifics, but it reads like a life story, and what a story!

Your CV is EPIC!

I mean sure, it’s just that Word template you threw together back on Windows 98, but hey it’s a CV right? I mean it’s a box-ticking exercise and you ticked that box! I mean, c’mon what are these suckers looking for?

In conclusion

If you spent more than ten seconds reading our list, and with today’s attention span we applaud your efforts, you’ll have noticed we weren’t 100% on the level. The truth is, if you want that interview, you’re going to need to do the opposite. You see the real reason we put together this list is reflected in its acronym, which you may or may not have noticed yet. Kudos if you did btw. Incidentally, you can be sure a HR specialist would have spotted it, because well if you’ve caught our drift by now, they know exactly what to look for in the CV and, as importantly, what to avoid. 

Anyhoo, we hope you enjoyed our “how-not-to” guide and we’d be stoked if you took a moment to share it with friends. Also, feel free to follow us for some genuine job-hunting tips, hacks, and whatnots and thanks for spending time with us.